You should just got to jail, it's not that bad.

I rather go to jail than work an 8 hour shift with Cindy.

You've got to have white power showers so you don't get raped!

The boys bath room has 2 pee recepticals, 3 if you can count the sink.

Keystone is pussy beer, I don't drink diet soda and I don't drink light beer!

This guy, not Mother Teresa. Put that on your blog!

I have the libdo of a 16 year old

I'm not getting word tricked. No BJ tricks here, bro.

I woke up to BJs! Beer and orange juice!

I got swamp ass

What? Are you texting that I said I'm going to get a Canadian blow job?

I'm about to get a Canadian blow job!

I would change my address to her chest

Holla at your clawdad!

Look at how sick this shit is!

What my phone number? Horra

Blog that shit! What's what that dolby surround sound shit?

I love strippers, they make my heart melt!

Wanna buy me a drink? I'll show you a good time...just throwing it out there...

You want an apple teenie?

Can we light a fire? Set the mood bro!

Fear and glitter. God, why aren't we at the strip club!?

Jews have small dicks

Frustrated. See, you hear that R in there bro?

Accountabilitybuddy

Wanna stop at the strip club? Get a quick lap dance?

Well I guess your ovaries aren't working today

I'm a joyful bro!

I was kinda sucking on it but not really

Who's going to die in a totally preventable accident? This guy.

I feel gay when I lick an ice cream cone

For a $101 we could stay at a Hilton!

Does that not make butts wet?

I know this gets used alot but I'm not Oprah

I know this gets used alot but I'm not Oprah

Updated areolas! It's 2010!

And for the first time ever, I was going to get back to work on Lynnda's shift

I mastered cloning

I don't smell like tacos, I smell like Antonio Banderas!

Bible belt, welcome to it.

I'm going to go home and blow my brains out, going to Kurt Cobain it.

Ancient Greece is not myth, not one part!

Cartoons are magic, they blow my mind!

That was team work, just like in that Tenacious D song!

High five for arrogance!

Feel this shit, bro! It's so plush!

I figured a circumsision is like an add on like when you go fill up on gas, "hey you want a car wash with that for only $3?"

Starvbortion

All really bad choices are just consecutive small bad choices

Explaination point

Look at these dick hands!

What do girls have against putting dicks in their asses?

The world's pathetic

I'm glad i'm not a girl, I have no self image issues. I know i'm pretty...i mean...handsome, strapping.

But asians make those donuts, they have little hands. It's either that or make soccer balls.

Run train, bro shit

Asking for advice on the internet is like asking someone with a bunch of kids what birth control works.

It's fucking 2010, who reads books?

A drilldo: half drill, half dildo - all fucking intense.

Say it harder, while thrusting.

Cloppity clop clop clop

Boobs don't add intelligence but they make smiles

I almost traded my car for a donkey on craigslist, my mom was pissed. I said 'you don't have to change the oil on a donkey, you just feed it hay'. I would totally just ride it around on Palm Sunday.

A neck beard is still a beard. If it tickles the thighs, it's a beard.

I would totally fight a shark in waste deep water

What is this commie propaganda?

I just want to make beats

What do you think I am? A juggernaut?

Who do I look like? Oprah?

What's that old lady doing up here every night?