Not hot, she had a butter everything

At least you bros still have your pay checks

Don't blog that shit.

You're slacking on blog updates, bro!

Fuck butt grease

I totally showed it to this bro at a party

I'm an individual, so naturally I like Tim Burton movies.

She looks big enough to be a line backer

Tra la la! Look at me! I got the internet!

Nah, I tried, all the girls on craigslist are hookers.

Fake it till you make it, bro!

It's like all his updates are all the things you see on church billboards

The sun never sets in the land of cool

The fuck you think this is? Little House On The Prairie?

There's whisky to be drank

I don't want a ticket, bro! Click it or ticket!

Joey's got the right idea, I want to punch a pregnant bitch going at this speed

You're a hooker.

Do I look like a criminal? Do I look black to you?

Girls don't poop...yes, I've seen two girls one cup. It's fake, it's PhotoShop.

Why do they make cola without whisky in it?

How many women founding fathers were there?

I'm just going to tell strippers i'm a doctor