I didn't wash my hands because I'm not at work...high five?

That's like some guy's $60 bar tab in the parking lot.

Does that guy even know how to chew? It looks like he just ate a bunch of bread dough.

Man, I'm glad I'm not in that situation. That's alot of vomit!

Have you ever lacked off and watched The Wizard of Oz? It's trippy shit!

FREEBIRD!

That sounds like a good idea but Depends is a good idea too: not having to go to get up and go to the bathroom.

You're talking to a random stranger.

Stranger: Hi
You: Hey bro wanna play some gamecube
Stranger: Where are you from?
You: BROklahoma
Stranger: oh Oklahoma, nice. I'm from Australia
Stranger: How old are you?
You: SICKKKKKK
You: 22
Stranger: I'm 20 :)
You: You have tits?
Stranger: I'm a female, yes.
You: FUCKING AWESOME
You: I LOVE BITCHES
Stranger: Great
You: wanna call me
Stranger: No
You: I will let you talk to my awesome American cock
You: What are you a fag or something bro?
Stranger: No, I'm not
You: SYKEEEEEEEE
You: YOU GAY
Stranger: My Name is Annabelle
Stranger: And I'm not gay
You: your so gay
Stranger: I have a boyfriend
You: Talk to my cock
You: It's American
You: It has a iPhone 4
Stranger: I HAVE A FUCKING BOYFRIEND
You: He can watch you talk to my cock
Stranger: No
You: Like a fag bitch
You: I'll fight him
Stranger: You're rather vulgar and you probably don't even gave a girlfriend
Stranger: *have
You: I bet he is a terrorist
Stranger: No, he isn't
You: I have a bunch of bitches fag
You: I get pussy on the reg
You: How much pussy do you get?
Stranger: I'M A FEMALE
You: So you don't get pussy?
Stranger: CLEARLY I DON'T
You: Fag
The Stranger has disconnected.

I'm going to go home and tickle my prostate.

He called me a fag circus nigger